Thursday, June 25th, 2009. The world is abashed in horror as our televisions and radios confirm the truth we didn't want to believe -- Michael Jackson, arguably the biggest music star of any generation (living or dead) and certainly the object of affection for millions (perhaps maybe even billions), had died. The Moonwalker, who once graced us mere mortals with amazing glimpses of his astral projections, had taken his last bow and last breath, leaving the rest of us wondering where the time had gone and why it had taken someone so adored by so many. The legacy that was Michael Jackson was finally capstoned and sealed to be mourned, remembered, and revered in glory for millenia to come.
That is, until Black Entertainment Television decided to desecrate it with a tribute to him in the name of the BET Awards.
If the latest installment of BET's most highly-publicized award show is in any way a reflection of the collective memory of the King of Pop, I shudder for the future of his legacy and weep for future generations who will never know Michael and his art as we did, unmarred by an undignified, haphazard, and poorly executed homage un-befitting of royalty.
Sure, many of us in our community are well-acquainted with the history of BET and their awards show and have come to fully expect -- yeah, even appreciate -- the tomfoolery and egregiousness that characterizes this particular mid-summer's night in Black entertainment and culture. However, I would argue that last night's program catapulted BET to a new level of baseness that deserves community reproach: as if it isn't enough to defecate on the very spirit of your network, BET had the audacity to name it a tribute to one of our community's fallen heroes.
Perhaps BET should seek honor themselves and the community they represent before they deign to offer tribute. Without honor, what's the integrity of tribute?
I think it's about time that we held a forum of "Community Accountability" with BET. Nothing big and public -- just an intimate "family affair"; a cozy conversation between Black people and BET in which we (the populous) expressed our challenges with the network. While we should certainly laud BET for what it does right (while I'm extremely incapable of producing an adequate example, at this moment), there is something to be said about the breadth and depth of what they get wrong.
6/11/09
Day 25
Addiction
So, after trial/error/disappointment, I've gotten into the habit of medicating myself with a post-obstruction cocktail -- usually there's more the former than the latter.
The Reality: If I stay on this trajectory, and life keeps sucking, I'm well on my way to developing one whopping dependency.
The Story: Today began like an other day -- I awoke with the sunshine of possibility and a new day warming the apples of my bright smile. I showered/dressed, handled some early morning business, and made my way out the door, on time might I add, to my first obligation of the day.
I must not have checked my calendar, because apparently today is the day the Hellmouth opened over Atlanta. Or, at least, my life.
I won't belabor every nauseatingly obnoxious detail that attributed to my persistent foul mood today -- rather, let's take a topical approach:
1) Lack of personal transportation
Seriously, this is becoming Issue #1 for me. I won't even bring up how public transportation in Atlanta is neither convenient, reliable, or compatible with my life schedule, not too mention how embarrassing and uncomfortable it is to be seen standing on Random Atlanta Corner #3453 (dressed business casual wearing my maroon Morehouse College polo accented by a briefcase, no less) in the hot ass Georgia sun waiting for the bus -- that may or may not come when it's supposed to. No, the most frustrating part of the whole ordeal is my inability to navigate life/negotiate space and time to my personal desire. I'm always at the mercy of some other entity's resource, and it's beginning to piss me off to my highest pissivity (yes, it's a word...and if it wasn't before, it is now).
2) Lack of substantial viable stream of income.
Those who've partaken in my previous posts are well acquainted with the Dawson's Creek saga that is my "employment" (my emphasis). After numerous attempted home invasions (three since the beginning of 2009) and a re-evaluation of the now very apparent lack of amenities (see above) in my life, it has become more and more obvious that I'm in need of a stronger fiscal influx. More disappointing, however, is the juxtaposition of my current job(s) and pay against the current job market and the work that I've already given to the aforementioned agencies. They continue to thrive while I wither -- at my expense, literally.
3) Lack of support
I am growing increasingly agitated with my current lot in life. While I've never been a fan (or recipient) of hand-outs, I'm beginning to wonder why my road was predestined to be so autonomous and arduous. I know this is about to border on selfish narcissism, but why haven't I been given certain gifts, gifts that I perceive I need to achieve my optimal success and gifts that I see others receiving all the time. For instance: why didn't I get a car growing up (a shitty fixer-upper that I could have pushed throughout high-school and undergrad while learning the basics of car maintenance and automobile finances) so that now not only would I have reliable transportation, but I wouldn't have to finance a vehicle all by my onesy. Why couldn't I have gotten some support to help buoy the financial transition from safe, comfortable college to shockingly-abrasive adulthood? I don't believe that I'm owed anything from anyone, but I've got to admit -- I do feel like I'm floating on a patchwork raft in the middle of a torrential ocean. I'm secure in the knowledge that I'm on the right path and that I'm (kinda) doing the right thing, but I can't help but wonder if, under my current circumstances, I'm going to make it -- and why I'm (seemingly) having it harder than others in situations akin to my own.
I apologize for my bitch-fest -- but I had to get this off my chest. In the meantime, I meditate:
After achieving the success of graduating from college, what, if anything, should you expect in return?
So, after trial/error/disappointment, I've gotten into the habit of medicating myself with a post-obstruction cocktail -- usually there's more the former than the latter.
The Reality: If I stay on this trajectory, and life keeps sucking, I'm well on my way to developing one whopping dependency.
The Story: Today began like an other day -- I awoke with the sunshine of possibility and a new day warming the apples of my bright smile. I showered/dressed, handled some early morning business, and made my way out the door, on time might I add, to my first obligation of the day.
I must not have checked my calendar, because apparently today is the day the Hellmouth opened over Atlanta. Or, at least, my life.
I won't belabor every nauseatingly obnoxious detail that attributed to my persistent foul mood today -- rather, let's take a topical approach:
1) Lack of personal transportation
Seriously, this is becoming Issue #1 for me. I won't even bring up how public transportation in Atlanta is neither convenient, reliable, or compatible with my life schedule, not too mention how embarrassing and uncomfortable it is to be seen standing on Random Atlanta Corner #3453 (dressed business casual wearing my maroon Morehouse College polo accented by a briefcase, no less) in the hot ass Georgia sun waiting for the bus -- that may or may not come when it's supposed to. No, the most frustrating part of the whole ordeal is my inability to navigate life/negotiate space and time to my personal desire. I'm always at the mercy of some other entity's resource, and it's beginning to piss me off to my highest pissivity (yes, it's a word...and if it wasn't before, it is now).
2) Lack of substantial viable stream of income.
Those who've partaken in my previous posts are well acquainted with the Dawson's Creek saga that is my "employment" (my emphasis). After numerous attempted home invasions (three since the beginning of 2009) and a re-evaluation of the now very apparent lack of amenities (see above) in my life, it has become more and more obvious that I'm in need of a stronger fiscal influx. More disappointing, however, is the juxtaposition of my current job(s) and pay against the current job market and the work that I've already given to the aforementioned agencies. They continue to thrive while I wither -- at my expense, literally.
3) Lack of support
I am growing increasingly agitated with my current lot in life. While I've never been a fan (or recipient) of hand-outs, I'm beginning to wonder why my road was predestined to be so autonomous and arduous. I know this is about to border on selfish narcissism, but why haven't I been given certain gifts, gifts that I perceive I need to achieve my optimal success and gifts that I see others receiving all the time. For instance: why didn't I get a car growing up (a shitty fixer-upper that I could have pushed throughout high-school and undergrad while learning the basics of car maintenance and automobile finances) so that now not only would I have reliable transportation, but I wouldn't have to finance a vehicle all by my onesy. Why couldn't I have gotten some support to help buoy the financial transition from safe, comfortable college to shockingly-abrasive adulthood? I don't believe that I'm owed anything from anyone, but I've got to admit -- I do feel like I'm floating on a patchwork raft in the middle of a torrential ocean. I'm secure in the knowledge that I'm on the right path and that I'm (kinda) doing the right thing, but I can't help but wonder if, under my current circumstances, I'm going to make it -- and why I'm (seemingly) having it harder than others in situations akin to my own.
I apologize for my bitch-fest -- but I had to get this off my chest. In the meantime, I meditate:
After achieving the success of graduating from college, what, if anything, should you expect in return?
6/10/09
Day 24
Quick Hit
Someone tried to break into my house today. AGAIN. FOR THE 3RD TIME THIS YEAR.
It's funny how the universe will subtlety move you towards the space you need to occupy in order to stay aligned with your life's purpose -- I now know that my new metaphysical space is not compatible with my current physical space, and I'll be reconciling that juxtaposition within my physical realm immediately, if not sooner.
Likewise, with regard to my recent work drama, I'm now certain that the sacrifice of living I was almost willing to make is not worth (in this case) potential professional gain. I refuse to sacrifice even a smidgen of my peace of mind to work for those who have already achieved theirs. I need to be compensated adequately for what I do -- what I'm worth. And I'll raise hell and high water to get it.
I thought it was difficult before, but now I know that life is about to get even a little bumpier. But I don't mind, because I know where I've been, and I know where I'm going.
I'm strapped in.
Someone tried to break into my house today. AGAIN. FOR THE 3RD TIME THIS YEAR.
It's funny how the universe will subtlety move you towards the space you need to occupy in order to stay aligned with your life's purpose -- I now know that my new metaphysical space is not compatible with my current physical space, and I'll be reconciling that juxtaposition within my physical realm immediately, if not sooner.
Likewise, with regard to my recent work drama, I'm now certain that the sacrifice of living I was almost willing to make is not worth (in this case) potential professional gain. I refuse to sacrifice even a smidgen of my peace of mind to work for those who have already achieved theirs. I need to be compensated adequately for what I do -- what I'm worth. And I'll raise hell and high water to get it.
I thought it was difficult before, but now I know that life is about to get even a little bumpier. But I don't mind, because I know where I've been, and I know where I'm going.
I'm strapped in.
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